Well,
welcome back again to another podcast of Struggling Well that Suzi and I en enjoy bringing to you all each and every week.
This is 88.
I know it is.
Episode 88.
I know. It's amazing.
It's amazing.
It really is.
So, you have something you're going to reveal to us today, I think.
Well, a little bit. first I just we're in like the middle of July and kind of the middle beginning middle of July and it's been hotter than blazes where we live. I don't know where you live, but it's been like gh walking out the door and you hit this wall of heat and all I wanted do is stay inside. But I don't all the time, most of the time. But I discovered something this summer and I wanted to share it with you. And some of you that know me are going to be shocked at this. Completely and utterly shocked. You're going to be shocked.
I probably will be. I probably will. Do you feel a shock coming? I feel it coming. I'm bracing for it.
I brace for it because here it comes. I am a runner. I got new sneakers and everything. I am a runner. I didn't realize how well I run. It's a natural thing with me. Have you ever watched me running? It's like
I'm trying to process this because this is new to you. It's new to me. It is new. It shouldn't be new, Jimmy, because you've been married to me for like a hundred years. We've known each other. Close to 50.
but I have discovered in new ways that I am a naturalb born runner. And it's not the kind of running that needs sneakers. Not at all. again, those of you that are acquainted with me, whether we met years ago at a Hutchmood conference or wherever we met in the Pacific Northwest, wherever, none of you would say that I would be athletic because I don't like to sweat. I don't like to extend myself beyond a nice pace of walking. I've never been athletic. I tried a little bit in college. I was a goalie. Remember that, babe? That's kind of how we met.
That's how we met.
I was a goalie. I played basketball. at our college. we had a we were the first women's team and I was on the first women's team. We had a hectic schedule of three games which I fouled out got a technical foul in one. this was at a Bible college as well. So imagine getting a technical foul at a Bible college. Who knows what I said? I don't know. But I have discovered that this running thing that I do is not just new to me. And I have to tell you the context of it. this summer I am studying the book of Jonah in a Bible study done by Priscilla Shyer. It's called Jonah Navigating a Life Interrupted. And I'm preparing this study because I'm going to do it in the fall with some women that I meet with on Wednesday mornings. And I am learning a ton about Jonah. the study is excellent. And for those of you that have done one of Priscilla's studies, you know that she her content is amazing. but I've been struck with a phrase that is in the book of Jonah that comes in the very beginning of it. when it says, "Now the word of the Lord came to Jonah, the son of Amate, saying, arise, go to Nineveh, that great city, and call out against it, for their evil has come before me." But Jonah rose to flee to Tarses from the presence of the Lord. So, you all know this story, or if you don't know it, Jonah was called, he was a prophet. He was prophesying to he was directing the people of Israel and then God calls him to go to people that he hated. there's historical evidence that the Ninevites were people that actually took his family, killed his family. I don't know if that's accurate or not, but that's in some of the research I've done. But what hit me was not so much about the city of Nineveh. I mean, God called him to do something utterly different than what he had been asked to do or thought he was going to. to do. But the part that hits me was when it says that he rose up to flee to Tarses from the presence of the Lord. so that's where my running comes into play.
Yeah. And Jonah wrongly believed and I think that's probably true for us too that he could run from God's presence that there was places where God wouldn't be
right. And I think that's I don't think that's uncommon. to us as humans. I think there are plenty of places in scripture. we go back backwards back to the beginning of the Bible in Leviticus where Moses goes up to meet the Lord on the mountain and there are two sons of Aaron that are Oh, I don't think that's it. I'm sorry. That's not the golden calf part. This is a different part in Leviticus 10. Let me just read the passage to you. Now, Naab and Abaiu, the sons of Aaron, each took his sensor and put fire in it and offered unauthorized fire before the Lord, which he had not commanded them. And the fire came out from before the Lord and it consumed them. A little different spin than what happened with Jonah because Jonah ended up in the belly of a huge fish. But basically, it was God had commanded them, these two brothers, what to do, how to worship him, and they did their own thing. God had told Jonah what he wanted them to do, and Jonah different than the brothers. But Jonah, what he did is he just wanted to get out of God's presence. He wanted to flee God's presence. And I've been thinking about that a lot this summer as I've been studying the book of Jonah and asking myself, where are the places that I run away? And why am I so prone to run instead of stay and see what God has or doing? You're looking at me with a crinkled prow, Jimmy. Am I heretical? Am I
I'm just trying to figure out why do you think we run? Well, I have some thoughts. have you ever run? Yes, you have. I know you have. I think the reason why I run is when something happens that I didn't plan on. and the word interrupted, we used that a few weeks ago. When my plan for life gets interrupted in some way, then I typically run. Now, some people run like Jonah ran and went to Tarsus to get on a boat. He may have, you know, gotten the whole boat. I don't know. But he gets on this boat because he wants to get out of God's presence. I run in a different way. And maybe I should use a different word. What I do is I hide. So my running is I initially run to a place whether it be in my head, in my heart, but I want to escape from God's presence in some way. So I ignore him. I pretend like he's not there. That's what Jonah was trying to do. Pretend that God could not see him where he was. The problem that we come up against is that God is described as El Cana, the jealous God, and he will not allow anything to get in the way of him being with us. So, I've had to battle this summer from stuff going on in our family to watching friends lose loved ones to watching people struggle in ways that I think, "Oh my goodness, God, just intervene. Do something. Why are you interrupting their life flow this way?", and it's a very narrow view of who God is because I think, and we talked about this with Tim Keller's quote a couple of weeks ago, I think that I have a better solution. And so, it's been interesting this summer for me. I feel like God has been saying to me, you are a runner who hides. Jonah was a runner. who literally ran and left. But I'm a runner away from him and then I hide. And so I've been really wrestling with that. I don't know for those of you that are listening if you can identify at all, but I'm really wondering why. And some of the reasons are, like I said, things don't go the way I want them to go. we all have this plan. I see this especially with young mothers and fathers is they have this desire for their kids this plan about how they should act, where they go, where they should go to college, what kind of lives they should lead. And when that gets interrupted by anything, they run. I run. Thoughts?
Yeah. I think I'm trying to process through what we hope to achieve by running. And I guess it is that God will forget about us and life will then unfold the way we want it to unfold. is that I mean some of it was for Jonah if he went to Tarsus and the opposite direction of Nineveh geographically the opposite direction that God would forget about him and therefore he wouldn't have to do what God wanted him to do.
Yeah. I think there have been times in the last few years where I've just wanted God to leave me alone.
Yeah.
Just leave me alone. Let me I'll still be a good Christian girl. I'll I'm not going to go off in some crazy way. I'm going to live this parallel life, meaning there's a life that you've called me to, Lord, and then there's the life that I've called me to, and I'm going to live that one. The problem is what I bumped up against is this whole idea of God being a jealous God.
along with studying Jonah, I'm also studying the names of God. I have a lot of discretionary time, so I have more time to sit and study than some of you all do, but I end up trying to find a God that is more suited to what my choice of life is. Does that make sense?
Yeah.
It's like
you want to you want to make God in the image that you want versus accepting that he isn't he's not moldable to our image. He is who he is,
right? And yet God doesn't allow that. He really really doesn't. God wants me exclusively for himself. And he is a jealous God. Not in the vain way that we think about jealousy, but he is a jealous God. So as I'm running slashhiding, he's still coming after me, wanting to bring me to himself because his u let me read this quote to you. God's holy jealousy is rooted in a desire to protect, provide, and bless. He's always and only wanting what is best for me. That was hard for Jonah because what was best for Jonah was for him to go to Nineveh. That doesn't make sense. And as we look at things in life and you know the last few years there have been times I've looked at life and thought that doesn't make sense to me at all. And so like the Israelites did several times and what Jonah did in a different way, I think, is I'm going to I'm going to make a God that is more suitable to what I want, but I'm going to still live the Christian principles. I will. Just that I'm going to be worshiping something else.
Well, but And Jonah is an interesting you'll I know you know this, but at the end of the book, and this is the thing that's interesting about Jonah, he ultimately does what God wants him to do. He preaches to Nineveh. Nineveh repents. There's a great revival in the city. And the book ends with Jonah sitting out underneath a tree angry at God. He doesn't, even though he ends up doing what God called him to do, he doesn't see it in the same way. And he doesn't see it as something good. And we're left with Jonah in the story of Jonah with him being an angry spokesperson for God.
Do you think that's the last bit of Jonah? I mean, do you think he lived beyond that or
I don't we don't know.
It's not recorded.
No, it's not recorded. So, but my I guess my point is even there even though sometimes we may choose not to run or as you said not to hide and do what God has called us to do, it doesn't mean that we like it. And go that's the thing that's amazing to me Suzi is that God in his graciousness and his, goodness lets us go that way.
Yeah. It doesn't end well, though. I mean, Jonah doesn't end well. It's not that everything has to be tied up in a sweet bow. I think probably the ending is good in the sense that it makes you go, "Oh my gosh, that you know, I just am going to wrestle with this. I know this summer. There are things out there in my life that are kind of like, you know, flapping sails on a sailboat that haven't been tied down well. And I don't want to end with being mad at God. But and I'm glad that he's there and doesn't give up and his compassion is new every day. and his love for me never changes. But I just want y'all to think I want to I want you to join me in my struggle. How how's that for an invitation?
There you go.
And see where are you struggling? Where are you struggling? Are you doing it? Well, I would say that Jonah did not struggle well. I would say that there have been times this summer in particular that I have not struggled well and just want to challenge you as I'm challenging myself for to wrestle with him and to not run or hide.
Great challenge, babe. We'll leave people with that this week.
Okay.
Have a struggling week.