Welcome to another week's episode of Struggling Well. This is Jackie and I've taken over.
I'm not
Now, Mom and Dad, I'm going to put you on the spot.
Okay. Okay.
Don't have anything beyond that.
Okay. Well, we were just, talking again about some of the things that made a difference for you as a kid and what were some of the what were some of the what's the infrastructure of your family that has helped you in your adult life?
Well, something that I am, immensely grateful for is the fact that you guys were married for my whole upbringing and that you're still married today. I think that makes a profound impact on a child's upbringing and might not be the case for some people. Doesn't mean it's a lost cause, but for myself, and I'll speak for my sisters, the privilege that we had to grow up in a household where you guys love loved each other. We knew that you loved each other. You weren't perfect. You struggled in marriage like most marriages. And then to be able to see it on the other side of it now that I'm a parent and able to rely on you guys for parenting advice.
Also struggling with having my own child that had a split family
and in and then and how I'm able to parent her through that.
So, I have a question for you. You're the mom of two girls. One is a full-blown teenager with thoughts and strengths and desires and all that. So, what do you worry about the most?
Well, currently I worry because she's now driving. and I worry about her like logistically on the road. I think I see a lot of myself in her. she keeps her thoughts inside.
and she's has a pretty guarded heart. She has more confidence than I did at her age and she has a very tough exterior. and so I just I worry that I want her to like share all of this information with me. I want to know exactly what she's thinking and feeling and where her heart is and you know, how's she feeling about school and how's she feeling about friends and the list goes on and I it's hard to pull it out of her, which maybe you could say the same thing was for me.
Oh gosh.
And I just hope that she views me as somebody that she can come to.
so what would you say to parents that are hopefully listening and they may there may be grandparents too about having kind a vision for their kids not about who they can be a doctor, a lawyer, teacher, whatever. but having thoughts about how should they pray for their kids? What should they hope for their children?
well,
I apologize ahead of time because, none of these questions have been rehearsed and so Jimmy and I do this all the time, but Jackie is like she said, she keeps a lot of thoughts to herself. So, I applaud you, Jack, because you're doing great.
This is totally off the cuff. I mean, I pray for both my girls those in different ways because they're in different stages. And if we're talking about u my oldest being a teenager, I remember what it was like to be 16 and you know, your body's changing, your you have demands at school, you know, all of the life things that come at you. I did not have social media, which is a whole another thing I believe that kids deal with today. My prayer is that she can continues to seek Jesus and that we create a home that has the Bible open and that's where Matt and I are gaining our strength and wisdom from in parenting. And so my prayer is that she experiences the great joys that high school can bring her that even in the lows that she knows that Matt and I love her, that her family loves her. you know, I want her to see successes in the things that she enjoys. For her, that's sports. you know, I it's not that and I don't pray that she doesn't have struggles cuz I think in the struggles is where our reliance on God comes and obviously, you know, where what they say like fire refines you type of a thing. So those are just a few highlights of what I pray.
So you this you all who are listening have heard us use Dr. Larry Crab's name many times as a person who was a mentor to Suzi and me and to Jackie and our girls. He was just Uncle Larry. He was not the accomplished author, psychologist, Bible teacher. but one of the places that he often directed us to was to have a vision for people. and a vision for somebody to me is different than having a plan. for their life.
It's seeing somebody in the way that God would have them be. And it's in Galatians. And I love the language here because it's parenting children relationship, but it's not I mean Paul's speaking in bigger terms than that, but he says this in Galatians 4 and verse 19, my little children for whom I am again in the anguish of childbirth until Christ is formed in you.
And that's the vision I think as parents we should have for our kids. In other words, I as a man, I never went through child birth. Never went through that you two ladies have gone through. but he describes the difficulty, the process of giving birth to a child. But then he uses it in that sense that I am doing that continually for you until Christ is formed in you. So, it's that sense of a vision of who you could be if Christ is more fully formed. And I think as parents, that's far more important than and having a plan, life plan for your kids as to where they're going to go to school, what they're going to do jobwise, and anything else. And so, I would just say as we're wrapping this whole threepart thing together that we would encourage you to have a vision for your kids.
And I would also add to that you're going to experiencing experience things as a parent where you think it's all over. My kids's going to turn out horribly. they're in trouble. or there whatever it is that you think you want to give up. And I would lie to you to say that there were times when we didn't want to give up on parenting because it felt so hard and we felt unappreciated and felt like there was no light at the end of the tunnel. That's not true. That is that's a lie and probably sourced from the enemy. But we have an ability because we know Christ. We're filled with Holy Spirit. So as we are speaking to our kids, we need to be praying, Lord, give me the words to say and help me when I'm angry and help me when I'm so sad or so disappointed. but don't give up on your kids because their story is still being written.
Yeah. So, we hope that these last few podcasts have been helpful, challenging, and stirred some things. And reach out to us at info@tandemspirituality. com if we can offer any further advice or help. Have a great week.
Thanks, for joining us. To learn more about the Struggling Well podcast, visit tandemspirituality. com.