Well, welcome back to another podcast of Struggling Well. we record this in the morning, so I'll say good morning to you. but you might listen to it whenever you do and that's fine too. yeah, as we get started today, so much of what we do in these podcasts really comes out of conversations that Suzi and I have on a regular basis and probably never really enter into what we say on air, but there but it's what stirs us and stirs our hearts. And one of the things that we were looking at recently, talking about recently is unresolved anger and bitterness that gets buried down inside of us. I in all of our years of marriage, I've been somebody who tended to stuff things down inside. Well, sooner or later that things that you stuff down inside come rolling out. Sometimes they come exploding out. And one of those things that I think we have to pay attention to is anger, bitterness that is left unresolved and what it looks like when it finally does surface in our lives. So with that being said, I'm going to turn this over to my wife.
Should I be waiting for big explosion. No, I don't think so. You're pretty good.
I'm getting better. I'm getting better at expressing myself.
You are getting better at expressing. I would say that as we've been married almost well, it'll be 49 years in
next month.
Next month, which I think is pretty good. I think it's awesome. Not just pretty good. I think it's awesome. I'm on the other end of the spectrum where I express a lot, but I find that in my many many words that often times I don't even get to the core of what I'm really feeling. because I'm so busy reacting that I don't get to the core of what is going on in my heart. And so it takes a bazillion words for me to even begin to get down there. But I do know this that when there is unresolved emotion in my life, it does not produce anything good. And it's not good for my health. It's not good for my attitude. It's not good for the way I react. to other people and it's certainly not in keeping with what scripture tells us to do with our anger and our bitterness. but I think that's hard and not and whenever I use that phrase, but it's hard, it's not a caveat to say so therefore just stay angry because it's hard. I find that it's tedious to try to deal with the emotions that I have. there's so much injustice in the world at large and it feels like in the last oh I don't know seven eight months of our life there's been a lot of hanging injustice when I say hanging meaning it's out there and it hasn't been resolved. So what do you do with all of those feelings and what do they do to you?
Yeah, it's I think we all experience the unresolved and we all experience having to sit with something longer than we want to sit with it. We love resolution. We love things to be brought to a conclusion and then we can sweep them past us in our lives and we move on to whatever the next chapter event is. And when they're left unresolved, it does tend to wear on us. And you said it, Suzi, I think it not only does it produce my reactions stronger at other things like, well, why did I explode at that person's driving when it really isn't that big a deal? but more than that it's when it produces in me something that's not Christlike, right?
And that's I think where you're heading with all this.
Yeah. I lately there have been a few people that have been talking to me about their families of origin and how several of the family members have not been speaking to each other and most of them can't remember what the issue was that caused these family members to stop communicating, but they have stopped communicating. And the irony of that is Like I said earlier, they can't remember what the issue was. But nobody will bend to forgiveness and grace. And I think what a waste of time. But then I have to examine my own heart and I have to think, okay, where is it that I'm holding anger or bitterness towards somebody and it's been buried in my heart? And then how does it show itself? For me, it seems to have been showing itself in some interesting ways. Have you noticed any of those, babe?
Why? I'm not sure what you mean, sweetheart.
Well, let's go to Ephesians for a minute. Ephesians 4:26. and scripture says, starts out Paul is writing to the church at Ephesus, and he says, "Therefore, having put away falsehood, let each one of you speak the truth with his neighbor, for we are members one of another. Be angry and do not sin. Do not let the sun go down on your anger and give no opportunity to the devil. it's interesting. Be angry and then but do not sin in your anger and don't let the sun go down on your anger. And there is so much anger in the world right now that we are seeing. And I wonder how that's going to affect I think it's already made a big impact on our culture, but how's it going to affect each individual person who's got so much rage and anger and I see it like, you know, I'm driving down the street where we live and somebody cuts somebody else off. And it's not just a little toot on the horn. It's hand signals and rolling down windows and screaming at each other and people cutting in line and getting upset over so many things. And scripture talks to us about, yeah, there's going to be angry anger, but don't sin in your anger. What do you think that means?
Well, I think it's again the There's a sense in which I sin when I make it all about me.
and I think that there's a place I think Jesus was angry at times. when he cleansed the temple, he was angry, but it was for it wasn't for him. It was for the sake of his father. It was for the sake of his father's house. So, when typically when my anger becomes sinful, it's when it's I make it all about me.
Yeah.
As opposed to going, "No, it's right to be angry at injustice that violates how God has made us, how God has designed us. When I realize that other person who drove that car that cut me off and I find myself up that's an image bearer, which I it's going to sound like super spiritual. I don't mean it to be that, but it's just it's I've got to consider the other person, not just me. And I think when I'm when I tend to get angry and sin, it's when I make life all about me.
You know, when we're talking about anger and bitterness and all that, you know, of course, we have to go to the place where it's spoken about in truth. you and I can have our opinions about anger and bitterness and what people should do when they're angry with their relative, their spouse, their kids, whatever. We have we may have a lot of advice, but scripture is the place where we learn how to live in the midst of anger and bitterness and injustice. And if we're not in scripture, then what we'll do is we'll react according to our own moral code. Like I will set a code as to how you should be when you're angry. But mine might be different than yours. So where do we go when we're in those places where we have that person that we feel anger towards or is angry towards us or we feel that rage over injustice? Where what do we do and where do we go? And there are many places in scripture, but in the letters that Paul wrote to the churches Philippians, Colossians, Ephesians, Galatians. He spoke very clearly because there was so much disunityity and anger among them. And one of the things he says in Colossians chapter 3 is if I've been raised with Christ, then I need to seek the things that are above. And he says, "So now you need to put to death what is earthly." And he lists out a couple of things there. But then he also says in chapter 3:8, "But now you must put them all away. Anger, wrath, malice, slander, and obscene talk from your mouth. Do not lie to one another, seeing that you have put off the old self with its practices and have put on the new self, which is being renewed in knowledge after the image of its creator. So, when I come up against anger and I think right now because we have so many unresolved things in our lives and there have been health issues and all sorts of other stuff that I feel this thing bubbling up in me. and Jimmy, I've talked to you about this before. There are times when I think How do I dismantle these feelings that I have inside of me so they don't come out in a way that is hurtful to someone else and becomes sin? And Paul tells them, put it off, but put on love and compassionate hearts and kindness, humility, meekness and patience, bearing with one another. If you have a f a complaint, forgive one another as the Lord has forgiven you. And it goes on thoughts.
Yeah. And so the to do that it's impossible.
Yeah.
In our own strength. It's only possible because of the Holy Spirit who's living in us and working in us. And so there's a sense in which when I come up against those situations, if I try to do it on my own, I will fail. If I try to do it in the strength and power of the Holy Spirit, I can actually do the things that Paul says there in Colossians and elsewhere in scripture. I've got to be willing to yield myself over to his spirit who's working powerfully in me to make those things happen. And so our encouragement to you this week would be a as you're wrestling with maybe you're wrestling with unresolved situations in your life that are producing an anger. You can feel it. You know it's there. and that anger could lead to a bitterness which could be nothing but destructive. Then would you sit with what you're feeling long enough to allow the spirit of God to shape your reaction, your response, and allow the spirit of God to help you to do what Paul says in Colossians to put off and to put on the things that re represent Christ in how you behave towards other people.
We've got Christ through the Holy Spirit dwelling in us. So, we have everything we need to lead a godly life. Let's encourage one another to do that.
Have a great week. Thanks for joining us. To learn more about the Struggling Well podcast, visit tandemspirituality. com.